March 05, 2003 -

what do you do when yr inspiration disappears? not dies, but just isnt there anymore.. you turn to nostaligia and the memories of excitment and creativity you had when you were inspired.. its chilly out there..

two nights ago we watched films of new york homeless people and building collapsing in canada.. the music fell upon us like black night and the flames burned in the background heating the room.. godspeed came down for a visit again, its been three years since last tour and not much has changed.. nine classically trained musicians who play the most harrowing tales of grandeur and distress.. we all sat on the ballroom floor patiently awaiting the four guitars, two drums, one cello and one violin to harmonize loud fireworks of noise all the while four letters that spelled out H-O-P-E flashed on the projector screen..

of course black dice killed the house with a knob tweaker, beautiful drummer, psychedelic geetar, and some synth organ pummeling... explosions in the sky and in my brain wanting these trips of acid sound to never stop.. you turn to music, to heal and to bring on the emotions yr inspiration once did, it still hurts but yr not at the low point anymore.. these two bands elevated me for three hours and made it feel like spring was here..

tonight two old friends and i are escaping to nyc to see mink stole (the last filthiest person alive)take questions and give autographs at a gay bar called barracuda.. perfection i think yes, more candy to digest and help me move on, yes.. divine - RIP